Just do It!

Is it just me or has anyone else noticed that standards have slipped into a bottomless abyss of "couldn't care less" when it comes to business behaviour in this city? Let's all loudly proclaim that we've suffered over 7,000 earthquakes/aftershocks in the past 11 months and get it out of our collective systems....and get on with the bloody job! What do you mean, precisely, I hear you splutter in disbelief!
What I am alluding to are the hundreds, if not thousands, of Christchurch tradesmen, professionals &  businesspeople who are treating their customers and clients very badly. This may well be because they are so busy at the moment that they have forgotten their manners; it may be because they have developed an arrogance that they think befits their self-belief that they are more important than the people who employ them simply because their hourly rates or charge out fees have risen sharply after the recent catastrophes.
Let me give you some examples that I have experienced in recent weeks and months. I have every confidence that thousands of you will have suffered similarly.

Three weeks ago I started leaving messages for my lawyer, someone I have been doing business with for 25 years. He has never been the most energetic responder to messages and so I persisted with telephone calls and emails.....for two weeks before getting a reply. How did I get the reply? Well, I simply called his receptionist and advised that I would be at his office at noon the next day for an appointment unless he returned my calls & pleas for service. Within an hour I had a result. The question is, why did it take such an effort on my part to elicit a response from this man or his PA? There were no unpaid bills, we hadn't had a falling out and he would have been aware that the nature of my calls were such that he would surely be the winner in the fees that were to follow. He brushed off my concerns by stating he had been very busy. Not good enough and I must admit that it has pushed me a little closer to seeking other counsel for legal matters.

The second example of tardiness and downright bad form involves my plumber, or should I correctly state, the plumber I used to use! 7 days ago I called and left a message for him to go to a rental property I own to fix a burst water pipe; this had been caused by the heavy snow in the city and freezing temperatures. The tenants had called me saying water was filling the yard and matters were less than desirable.
Multiple messages and countless phone calls later the plumber still hasn't been. In fact, a text (was he too scared to 'face up' to me in a live call?)came yesterday, sunday, boldy spouting that he has been very busy and would "try" and get to the property sometime this week. I ask you, has this man ever understood the principles of success in business? I have since dispatched him in words that would unquestionably be foreign to ears younger than 12. Whilst he is a one man band his lack of courtesy in not prioritising a job which I considered to be very urgent has lost him a customer. So what you say! Well, I do own a lot of rental property in and around the city and this plumber has fed off me for a few years. The loss will be his as I have now 'sold out' to a large, 24/7 operator; yes, a large plumbing firm. I am sick of battling with the so called battlers as they just can't deliver when the going gets tough. They are singularly unable to cope and that's no good at all for anyone trying to keep the ship afloat or even just on an even keel after a storm.

I have many more examples and will detail these as time goes on. However, there's enough above to get you thinking and please do respond if you have anything to state either in defence of these halfwitted no-hopers or in support of my comments. In fact, it would please me immensely if you were to add some examples of your own of poor service & shoddy workmanship or behaviour.

The essential point here is that it is not easy to do business in Christchurch at the moment. There seems to be an all pervading malaise that has swept through the city and suburbs with people in business sloping about like heavily-sedated psychiatric patients, projecting a complete lack of interest in doing their jobs and getting on with it all.

Don't You Just Love It When.....

...well, when you find yourself in your new residence on a sunday evening with a smooth, silky, cherried up glass of Cab sauv, sleet and God only knows what pelting down outside and something aromatic bubbling away in the oven.....and......and....no television! I want to be the first to tell you that it is rather an intoxicating feeling and has nothing to do with the 15% abv of the wine. The problem I have with tv programmes is that they are, to a large extent, mindless drivel aimed at keeping the mindless masses cosy and comfortable at home on their couches.
Many of you will rail against me for stating this but just look at yourselves! You're probably eating your evening meal (let's call it Tea shall we?)on your laps in front of the 'idiot box', dropping some of the food in your lap....hey, but this isn't a problem as you're wearing trackies from the Warehouse so what the hell. They'll be ok by morning when you set off to go about your business without a care in the world about what anyone thinks of you.
Has television and the watching thereof turned some of us into completely unacceptable specimens, sad and bad representatives of our species? Or just enabled us to bring out the inner slob?

Don't misinterpret what I'm trying to say here. Many good people wear tracksuits all day and every day but for the sake of human decency they should at the very least wear a size that fits. There's nothing becoming about a large-buttocked gargantuan gutbucket wearing skintight trackpants with the material disappearing up their arse crack. I mean people it's obscene and enough to put you off your food and everything else for that matter.

Back to tv. It's akin to a gaoler who lets you out between evening sitcom shows. The lives of many in this country have been reduced to talking about what was on tv the night before. They are virtual prisoners who will even leave the television blaring like a raving nineteenth century lunatic in their loungerooms whilst you are visiting and trying to have a conversation. It's not only insulting to you, the visitor, but also to their intelligence. As willingly as they submit to the barrage of cretinous advertisements that boom out all too frequently they also submit to the theft of their free time and their quality of life.
Their lives are dominated by and dictated by concepts and ideas created by unknown people in far off lands. They are lured in, hooked and suckered every inch of the way by vainglorious writers, producers and directors who are literally creaming their way to great wealth by mashing and mushing the brains of you, the poor, great unwashed.

I say to you, whomever may be listening (reading actually), get off your arses now, turn off that dreadful electronic anus that's shitting in your home and go and do something worthwhile with your time. Visit a friend, go for a walk, write a blog, do some exercise, take the trash out, clean your house, talk to your kids, talk to your spouse, ring someone, have sex. It doesn't matter what you do but just give yourself a break and turn that sucker off and see what happens. It ain't half bad.......

Maudes of Fendalton

Maudes just opened today and because I'm a committed philanthropist from way back when I wanted to be one of its first customers. Naturally I knew it's opening was imminent as I live close by but it was by chance that I saw it open this morning. In I dashed to find tables not set up and virtually nothing in the food cabinet. Do you think this bothered me, one who has just returned from force-feeding myself at such temples of delight as the Fat Duck, El Celler De Can Roca, The ledbury, Rick Stein's Seafood Restaurant and Hibiscus? Of course not - why not I hear you ask? Well, quite simply because the overwhelming attribute at this moment in time for Maudes is its raison d'etre. Once I'd learnt that the staff of the former cafe on the site, The Preservatory, had generously donated their time to this project and that all proceeds for the duration (until mid september) would be donated to the Nurse Maude Association I knew that I would be eating very fine fare and drinking the best of coffee. Food and drink that had the magic wand of human kindness and personal charity waved over it. Furthermore, I am certain that you will experience a rare measure of contagious joy on entering Maudes as all associated with it are exuding the passion of giving and serving. Scoff you may but I urge you to avail yourselves of this opportunity to have your morning tea, lunch or afternoon tea and enjoy the added benefit of giving something back to your community.Go in with a smile on your face and you'll be sure to keep it for the rest of the day.
No mention of this inspirational endeavour can be made without acknowledging the generosity of the property owners who have put in a lot of money and motivation to see this excellent venture succeed in its purpose. Congrats to Harcourts Holmwood.

Self-Serving Newsreaders & Smart Real Estate people....

Have you ever wanted to dry retch or, God forbid, actually vomit when watching second rate newsreaders carrying on as if they are media personalities? They are presumably not selected to read the news because they are journalistic high fliers, rising stars or have anything special to offer. They have skills, granted, as they are able to read from a moving display in front of them and are able to show a complete lack of emotion in the face of the most dire human tragedy but does it extend further than that?

It always intrigues me and sometimes infuriates me when I see our national sunday rag putting the faces of tv newsreaders on the front cover of lift-outs with details of their daily lives, marriages etc. Frankly, who gives a damn? If you've got so little going on in your life then perhaps you might be interested in the life of a television employee.......I'd suggest you save your money and bypass the sunday paper as it's full of absolute garbage much of the time. Why not get off your fat backsides and go for a walk, ride your bikes, if you have them......do anything but don't submit to the bullcrap that is being fed to the lambs of New Zealand every sunday.

Another group that thinks it's so worthy of public attention are real estate agents, especially from one particular group. If you're selling a house they think, rightly so, that you're so much of a sucker that you don't mind paying over 50% of the advertising money you hand over for promotion to PROMOTE THEM! It's just so ludicrous as to be laughable! You want to sell your house and in the process they make you pay to promote their faces. Look at the size of some of the ads  -  and then there's the signs on properties. No one gives a toss who these people are to be honest. A dead horse can sell a property as it is, in essence, the buyer who buys not the real estate agent who sells. If you don't want a particular property and don't like it you are not going to buy it, regardless of what anyone says. If you fall in love with a property or consider it a rip-snorter of an investment then you don't need an agent to convince you of that.....unless you're completely stupid.

Something to think about folks and I do very much welcome your feedback. I was once a real estate agent in Australia and I was always very pleased that people were prepared to pay me to publish my face and promote my professional career when selling their homes. I couldn't believe my good luck and the fame and fortune that followed set me up for life....

North and South Gourmet, Addington, Christchurch, New Zealand

A beautiful fiesta of greens, whites, reds, oranges and yellows in fifteen oriental jewels, a smorgasbord of edible creativity festooned with the elaborateness of eye-catching garnishes carefully crafted by well-trained hands. This was my lot on a warm evening two weeks ago at the North & South Gourmet Chinese Restaurant.
With twenty others I was treated to a noteworthy procession of sumptuous dishes, one after the other, sometimes two by two and always perfectly timed.
Begin with a mouth-watering bowl of wonton soup, bobbing with succulent, saporous dumplings, a tantalizing introduction to the many and varied courses to follow.
Without delay the Peking Duck made its three part entry, first a plate of sliced zucchini, carrot and spring onion then the thin, seductive wraps and finally the bold & crispy duck itself, laid out in the shape of the original bird, atop a bed of prawn crackers of all things.
In true Chinese style the food is placed on the lazy susan and each diner pecks at the dishes as they reach his or her place around the table. This gives everyone an opportunity to enjoy all the food and ensures each person doesn’t overindulge. It’s therefore easy to enjoy 15 courses without feeling like a stuffed pig at the end! The duck was pronounced equal to any that the assembled Chinese nationals had hitherto experienced in the city
The deep fried pork ribs with garlic sizzled the taste-buds and made more welcome the steamed egg with dried scallop followed closely by deep fried tofu with Chinese black mushrooms, a truly moist dish with a fine sense of texture selflessly offering this diner a lingering silence of appreciation.
Most of us are partial to a serving of Blue Cod on a regular basis and so when a whole steamed one is brought to the table it is incumbent upon us all to gape in wonder at its essential beauty, its grace and grandeur. This fish was emblazoned with a stunning green and orange cloak of green herbs and ultra-thinly-sliced carrot, effectively highlighting the generosity of the cod below.
The flesh of this true gem was soft and very palatable, exuding nourishment and quietly making a profound statement of flavour with each mouthful.
Within moments of the plate being placed on the lazy susan, of course, the eyes and the fish lips were eaten as these are considered delicacies. Unfortunately I wasn’t quick enough on this occasion……
A seemingly endless array of spectacular foods passed before me and I was fortunate in being able to sample most, if not all. The vegetarian selections were many, with my old favs like scintillating green beans with sesame, sauce and carrots. Sounds simple but the flavours that jumped all over me were just excellent and so fitting in between the meat and other dishes.
The grand tour of succulence continued with a proud, clucky, plucky serving of steamed chicken with Chinese sausage and those good old Chinese mushrooms again, all bathing in a delicious, eminently drinkable pool of powerful taste.
Dessert came as a giant birthday cake to celebrate a 27th birthday and was the creation of the Chinese bakery on Riccarton Rd. Radiating colour and life and excitement, this superlative cake was large enough to provide all twenty of us with a serving with some in reserve.
If you’re a fan of Chinese food and you are interested in trying some authentic fare from both north and south China this restaurant might be worth a visit. Try the fish lips or perhaps an eyeball?

Great to be here!

I have just set up this blog and so am very much a newcomer to this aspect of the online world. Having stated that, however, I will confess to having spent the past several years visiting and reviewing close to 700 cafes and restaurants worldwide......but predominantly in New Zealand. I have been publishing my reviews on a New Zealand website and this has proved to be a very worthwhile endeavour. Many have said to me that I should start a blog so I can rant and rave and, god willing, entertain others by rambling on about a whole range of subjects, not just food and wine. How this is going to work out in the end I don't know and must advise that I have had some misgivings about blogging given that Twittering seems to be an abject waste of time....yes, I realise that one is confined to 140 letters and spaces when Tweeting but it oft seems like such a banal, fruitless pastime. Furthermore, once you hit the 2000 mark in terms of people you are following Twitter stops you from following any more until you are followed by additional people. I have struggled to collect more than 1400+- followers and am fast losing interest as the service now has lost its appeal. Anyone else feel like this?

Anyway people I do hope you'll find my writings interesting enough to read on a regular basis. If not then do tell me, politely of course, what is lacking. Never too old to learn...

At Tonys Teppanyaki Japanese Restaurant, Ferrymead, Christchurch

There’s one thing that’s sure to bring a cheer to a diner and that is stepping in to a spotlessly clean new restaurant. When you are then lucky enough to find good food and prompt, friendly service it follows that your day will be the better for it!
Lunch at @Tonys new Teppan Yaki Japanese restaurant in Ferrymead is sure to please. Notwithstanding the brevity of the lunch menu you can order from the dinner menu also which gives you a few additional options. Our waitress was very helpful and nothing was a problem.
At the outset it seemed to the three of us that we may have ‘over ordered’ but the quantity and variety of dishes that eventually came to our table were entirely adequate. The beef and venison tataki was alluringly presented on a large plate and the gentle, bite-sized slices of meat were succulent and full of flavour. Whilst we may have opted for one too many deep fried choices, the prawn tempura, Tori-Katsu and Agedashi Tofu each offered a balance to the table when offset with the twenty-four pieces of assorted sashimi with rice and, of course, the ubiquitous bowls of miso. With a glass of wine each and tall glasses of cold Canterbury water we felt well served, well treated and certainly well fed by the time we paid the $102.00 bill and headed back to town.
I am a fan of Japanese food and with the loss of so many inner city restaurants it isn’t easy to find a Japanese restaurant open let alone find a free table. Even more reason to make sure you avail yourself of the hospitality at @Tonys in Ferrymead.

Red Bowl Restaurant

This time in May I was in Central South China, Hunan Province to be exact, and was enjoying the very best of local cuisine in true Chinese restaurants and cafes throughout cities like Changsha and Zhangjiajie as well as in small communities. My visit to The Red Bowl in Mandeville Street today surprised me in that I found quality, very fair prices and admirable service, all offered in well-tabled, capacious surroundings. Moreover, there was a simplicity & genuineness about the food here which really appealed to me.
The menu is big and bold enough to cover the bases and give you the experience you may be seeking. From chicken feet in black sauce to beef shin tendons to preserved egg & pork porridge, it’s all there and lunch seems to be all the go! How about this? I ordered four dishes, far too much for a lone luncher but I wanted to try a small selection rather than confine myself to one or two items, if you know what I mean…
There was deep fried tofu, four generous cubes for $3.40, Chinese vegetables at $4.50, coriander dumplings at $4.00 and wonton soup at $8.00. A lot of food, very desirable in appearance, aromatic to the smell and tum-tum tasty but perhaps on my next visit I will cut it down to three for lunch! The soup on its own would be a most agreeable lunch I would suggest!
The dining room is large with many tables so you won’t have any trouble getting a seat. I have a sense that this may be a busy restaurant in the evenings, very popular with the Chinese community in Western Christchurch.
On a final note, it’s refreshing to see an Asian restaurant that doesn’t use those break-apart wooden, throw-away chopsticks. I hate ‘em!

Black Betty

It’s no secret that I love women and there’s a new girl in town who has won my heart for the moment. Of course, I’m something of a tart when it comes to the pleasures of the stomach and have little success in staying with the one partner…………
Black Betty is my sweetheart for this week anyway and I hope to see her a few more times before my eye wanders again and my gigolo of a stomach finds favour elsewhere.
BB, as I now affectionately call her, must have been putting out some serious pheromonal signals as I walked past her front door last week; how was I to know she was going to lure me in, tempt me with excellent coffee, seduce me with unashamed determination and the thought of a big breakfast before having her way with my wallet….and me?
Ok, ok, I was not an unwilling participant in her beguilement as the town knows I’m a food slut, a caffeine addict, an all round bad-egg when it comes to self-control and a plate of better-than-average victuals…..and let’s not forget Betty’s damned sexy eyelashes!!
Yes, I confess to having more than one coffee. Yes, I confess to spending longer than was acceptable gazing longingly and lustfully at Betty’s goodies, but this biscotti-wielding beauty pinned me down with a sweet, persuasive serving of her two boiled eggs and soldiers. I know what you’re thinking - this man’s a fool. He has lost his senses! Please remember, however, that I’m only human and when a woman offers you her eggs it’s a very special thing. And so it was for me. I hope you understand.
I intend having an early breakfast with Betty sometime this week. It’s always a pleasure to wake up with the one you love……wouldn’t you agree?

Postscript: Sadly Black Betty Cafe on Madras St was a victim of the February 22nd earthquake but her memory lives on.  Perhaps she will rise again.